Here I am. Lying on the floor……..
I’m in the lake doing the dead man’s float. The only other sound I hear is the sound of the water lapping at my ears and the sound of the birds nearby chirping in the trees……….
I wonder if the babysitter remembered to give my step-son his medicine this morning. I had better call her………
No, wait! I’m supposed to still be floating in the lake!
I feel weightless……….Not a care in the world right now, just relaxing in the water, with only the sound of……
I open my eyes and just as I expect, my husband is sitting behind me with his arms cradled around my very large pregnant belly.
And he has fallen asleep in childbirth class during the relaxation exercise! I elbow him hard in the gut…..”REALLY!?” Is all I manage to say to him.
Relaxation…….ain’t nobody got time for that!
Our Bradley childbirth coach says relaxation is the most important tool to have at your disposal during natural labor and delivery. I have tried everything I can think of to practice relaxation techniques, apparently this helps to perfect them. None of them seem to work. It is extremely difficult for me to relax!
For instance, even on days when I am absolutely exhausted, it still takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep once I’m in bed. My brain just will not shut off. I am always thinking of things that need to be done, how much I dread going to work the next day, bills that need to be paid, a house that needs to be cleaned, my step-son’s ball practices and projects that we need to work on for school, etc.
The first thing our Bradley coach instructs us to do during relaxation exercises is to clear our mind. So, I cannot even get past the first stage of the exercise. Epic fail!
Needless to say, a wrench was thrown into my very detailed birth plan when I went to my 38 week checkup. My blood pressure was through the roof. They tried a few mild invasive ways of inducing my labor that did not work. This should have been my first clue that my first born child was just as stubborn as I was. They had no other choice than to start me on Pitocin. They started off with a low dose, then gave me the max. It still did not kick me into labor. The only other options left were to try breaking my water. If that didn’t work, I would have to have a C-Section. My birth plan at this point was completely null and void.
The minute they broke my water, my entire stomach and back filled with excruciating sharp pain. To try to describe it, is just impossible. So, I’m not even going to try.
Okay……breathe…..clear your mind….HOLY $%#&!
I tried to convince myself that I could handle it. If I can just have a minute or so from one contraction to the next…..OMG!!!!!!
Apparently not! My contractions immediately went from non-existent a few minutes ago, to one right on top of the other. The anesthesiologist could not get there fast enough.
Less than an hour later, my son was born. I couldn’t help but think about how disappointed I was that nothing about this experience turned out the way I wanted it to. Then, I saw his face and they placed his bare skin on my chest.
He was here. He had all of his fingers and toes. He had color. Everything was as it should be.
Well, at least I got one thing I wanted out of my birth plan. They didn’t whisk him away from me once he was born, they gave him immediately to me and told me I could hold him as long as I wanted and even try to breastfeed if I wanted to.
Without immediately realizing it, the point of ultimate relaxation hit me and I was at peace………
Then, this beautiful, perfect little being pooped all over me and him. Well, so much for that………
Relaxation just isn’t our style.